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Class 6(66)
S.O.D.: Speak English or die
11/11/09 || Habakuk
Introduction
This album is claimed to have been the first to merge thrash metal
and hardcore. That may be true, but I don’t know and I don’t care. It
mixes thrash and hardcore, and that’s enough for me to know. I don’t
feel a need to delve into the historic genre developments, either, as
“Speak English or die” easily makes its way to Class666-territory via
the personal classic route. I’ve listened this album to bits.
What’s not to love about a recording that was produced with minimal
effort by an 80ies metal all-star crew and that is (loosely) based
around a character called Sargent D (sic!) that could be father to
Kampfar, GD’s very own hate tank? D coined dictums like “I am not a
racist. I hate everyone equally” or the infamous “Speak English or die”
line whilst being a skinless skull, smoking a cigar and wearing an
anarchy badge on a steel helmet. Oh, the humanity
awesomeness. Needless to say, my young self was more than intrigued, and
a long time ago I felt the need to get a hold of this album. Right I
was. Until today, it is one of the very, very few honorable exceptions to my rule that humor and music don’t mix well. That means, something has been done right.
Songwriting
7. Yeah right. A very hasty “songwriting-process” obviously preceded this album blessing it with 22 songs rarely lasting longer than two minutes. The whole thing showcases a definite “fuck it, let’s do an album anyway” vibe that makes this recording so special. Needless to say, everything is pretty straightforward “thrash meets hardcore”- two or three riffs-material tilting heavily to the thrash side. You’ll find that a few songs are based on only slight variations of another song’s main riff, but since they’re all so short anyway, who cares. The Stormtroopers understood the importance of the “mosh part” and that’s good enough for me. This album isn’t about intricately pursuing perfection. However, “Speak English or die” breathes attitude, and it shows that the guys had a blast recording it. The ad-hoc character and simplicity become even more obvious when you hear “Chromatic death” on the “Live at Budokan” album, where it has actually been altered with a pretty classy half time break, or “Speak English or die” that has been fitted with a “Raining Blood” break in the middle. Things had not been set in stone when the studio lights went off, apparently.
Production
8. “This record was recorded and mixed in three days – July 2, 3, 5…”, the friendly booklet tells me. Well, that shows in what I just described in the last paragraph, but not really in the production, thankfully. They got themselves a relatively heavy guitar tone plus a distinct, nasty bass sound instead. Overall, they obviously knew what they were doing here as all three instruments and the vocals are at perfect levels, with the one minor glitch being the slightly muffled drums, but I can live with those. So, congratulations, you’ve just overcome one of the biggest obstacles in the making of a “fun” album. Experience wins.
Guitars
8.5. Basically a simplified, stripped-down version of contemporary Anthrax. Not too surprising, really, but awesome. Eight years ago or something, me and my friends fucken loved “United forces” (also it was the only song we could play properly) and it’s still fucken great. Same goes for “March of the S.O.D.”. What a moronic riff, but what a way to start an album. Coming up with this kind of stuff probably requires a bit more talent than actually playing it, but what counts in the end is that there are some really, really cool, puristic opening riffs in here. If you’re lucky, they last for half the song, too. If not, they are replaced by Scott Ian shredding his way into the next mosh pit, so we have a complete win-win situation for you, me, God and Satan.
Vocals
8. No-one yells “Speak English or die!!!” like Billy Milano does. He does his best to keep up with the rest, sometimes swallowing a syllable or so (“Kill yourself”) but that kind of helps the overall frantic delivery, together with some neatly placed gang shouts. Milano’s vocal style is probably a mixture of “clean” thrash shouts and hardcore vocals (who’d have thought), but far, far from anything that constitutes what is considered “hardcore shouts” by many today. We’re talking ’85, wiggers. I’ve always liked this spin-off project more than the, if you will, main band Anthrax, partly so because the vocals are so much better. In that they’re not spectacular, but then again I can’t recall authorising that Prawda article claiming I was a huge Aлтнрax fan in the first place.
Bass
8. Brutal Truth’s Danny Lilker sure has a discernible, dirty style of fast, thrashy bass-playing. He’s using a pick, and that adds a fair amount of grittiness to his sound which is obviously greatly appreciated. His playing sounds almost like he’s always on the verge of losing pace, but never does. It feels rushed and chaotic, but in a good way. As there are only three instruments, it’s also good to hear that he does a bit more than simply follow the riffs, which makes him even more integral to the overall sound. Personally, I couldn’t imagine another bassist on “Speak English or die” as it absolutely thrives on his rancid style.
Drums
7. The second one in the bunch with an Anthrax background, Charlie Benante does what he always does. Almost, as he also plays the lead guitar on “United forces”, but apart from that, he drums. His playing is very exact, reasonably energetic and fast, but I can’t say that makes me a huge fan … of what, his snare roll fills? Hm. The floor tom intro to “United forces”? Well, that’s a part of my youth, but even we could pull that one off. He’s a bit tighter than we were, though, I guess. There probably is an angry fan club out there somewhere that just sent an envelope with some mysterious powder to my address, so let me at least try and soothe them: Benante fortunately is not one of these drummers that act as ball and chain to their bands’ endeavors, which I appreciate. Now where’s that duct tape…
Lyrics
8. Speak English or die. One line so ingenious that it alone is worthy of entry into the Meavy Hetal Hall of Fame together with its apparent creator which is Danny Lilker. The lyrics are obviously total retardation, but mixed with tons of brilliant moments like that. Admittedly there are some passages, whole song lyrics even, that just show that they’ve been written in one day tops, but the abundance of classic lines makes that obsolete. Check this:
Fuck the Middle-East
there’s too many problems
they just get in the way
we sure could live without them
they hijack our planes
they raise our oil prices
We’ll kill them all and have a ball
and end their fucken crisis
Beirut, Lebanon – won’t exist once we’re done
Libya, Iran – we’ll flush the bastards down the can
Syrians and Shiites – Crush their faces with our might
Then Israel and Egypt can live in peace without these dicks.
The best thing is they have Billy Milano shouting this with so much conviction I’m pretty sure he missed the irony. He was probably serious with I want some milk, too. Cheerios just ain’t the fucken same.
Cover art
9. “Hey Charlie, draw that Sargent D skull again, we’re printing tomorrow”. You can actually still see traces of the felt pen used to color the helmet in the drawing. Anyway, a huge poster of this image has been hanging on my wall for years, and it’ll probably stay there for a while. Everyone loves Sargent D hates everyone.
Logo
6. “S.O.D.” in army fonts. Well, they could’ve used Comic Sans, huh?
Using a different font for the following “Stormtroopers of Death” kills it a bit, though. Boo-hoo.
Booklet
8. Two pages, lyrics, thank yous, a photo-collage… and it’s fucken worn-out with crumples and stains all over the place. This booklet has endured some serious weathering and had to stand the test of time more than anything else in my collection. Consider these eight points respect credits.
Overall and ending rant
If this is your favorite album of all times, you’re either 14 years old or a retard. Or both. Nevertheless, it is an essential listen. Until today you’ll find quotes from this album popping up in random places because it embodies misanthropic ownage, mentally challenged humor and 80ies thrash all in one. I could probably still enter a room with a “United!” shout and all my old mates would know exactly what to do. Retards.
This truly was an album that got me places, and inevitably at some point it was time to move on. Still, from time to time I pop it on and I’m taken back to our stupid band rooms where we thought “Speak English or die” was, like, the heaviest shit possible. Everyone else might simply be taken back to 1985 when I wasn’t even born, but when a couple of talented guys had a lot of fun spitting some misanthropy into the world’s face and, in passing, creating an undisputed classic.
- Information
- Released: 1985
- Label: SPV
- Website: www.sgt-d.com
- Band
- Billy Milano: vocals
- Scott Ian: guitars
- Danny Lilker: bass
- Charlie Benante: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. March of the S.O.D.
- 02. Sargent ‘D’ & the S.O.D.
- 03. Kill yourself
- 04. Milano Mosh
- 05. Speak English or die
- 06. United forces
- 07. Chromatic death
- 08. Pi Alpha Nu
- 09. Anti-Procrastination song
- 10. What’s that noise
- 11. Freddy Krueger
- 12. Milk
- 13. Pre-Menstrual princess blues
- 14. Pussy whipped
- 15. Fist banging mania
- 16. No turning back
- 17. Fuck the Middle East
- 18. Douche crew
- 19. Hey Gordy!
- 20. The ballad of Jimi Hendrix
- 21. Diamonds and Rust (Extended version)
- 22. Ram it up
